Sometimes all you need is a song that you can relate to at the moment. It makes you feel as though the singer, a stranger to you, cares and knows how youre feeling.
I'm thinking of a lot of things now. But it sucks to be unable to put them in exact words due to poor English.
I just wonder. Why do I still smile and laugh when my life is so bloody fucked up. I'm a bad friend, one who does not know how to prioritise, one who is not humourous, one who is awkward at times, one who is so stucked up, one who is so full of herself, one who is just a horrible person. It's stupid of me to only realise today. That I'm an unapproachable person. Which means I'd be left out most of the times. I dont belong. I suck so much i should be a lonely emo girl all my life. Fuck it.
I dont deserve anything good. I admit. But if this is karma for all my bitchiness, I would accept it. But not willingly. Cause this feeling I'm expriencing right now is depressing beyond words. I am not good at anything. Ive never been. A bad friend, a bad daughter, a bad student, a bad player, a bad partner, a bad human. I should be an animal dont you think so. That would be better.
I dont deserve to be happy. I shouldnt be. Well, wouldnt be too.